Sometimes I wish I had actually gotten around to starting my “Totally Biased Guide to D.C.” The section on Metro etiquette alone would probably be overflowing with tips like the following: if you must put your bag on the floor, be ready to move it swiftly at a moment’s notice.

On my commute today, I encountered a couple who could have benefitted with that bit of advice, if not a severe smack upside the head. For starters, as I attempted to board the train — with two or three people behind me, mind you — the couple got on and stationed themselves at the door. There was plenty of room for them to move further in, but they didn’t budge. It took me saying, “Would you move further in please?” for them to get the hint.

One half of the couple gets off the train a stop later. The remaining person, a woman, set her small duffle bag on the floor, which in itself isn’t unusual or wrong. At the next stop though, the bag proved to be an obstacle. Several people who got up to alight tripped over the bag; the woman did nothing except cluelessly look around. She eventually realized her bag shifted (thanks to the trippings) and half heartedly shuffled it closer to herself with her foot.

A man in a motorized scooter boarded the train when the exiting passengers were done tripping. As he backed up when he got off a stop or two later, his rear left wheel got caught on the bag, which got caught on the bottom of the windscreen by the train door. The man tried to move forward and maneuver his scooter to avoid the bag, but to no avail. Someone else — not the woman — had to wrench the bag free so the man and his scooter could get out. Again the woman was clueless the whole time.

I myself personally was subjected to baggage idiocy the other day on my way home from the Fruit Stand. My car was relatively empty and I had a seat to myself nearly the entire way. About two or three stops before I got off the train, a couple of people boarded with luggage and parked themselves in the middle of the aisle, blocking my way out. I didn’t think much of it until I wanted to get out; no matter how many times I said excuse me, they left their bag there. I climbed onto the seat to jump over the bag, which isn’t easy given Metro’s narrow aisles.

I should have just climbed on top of their bag.