Dear Mother Nature,

Please stop being a tease. If you’re going to threaten us with winter weather, please make it worth our while.

Much love,
The citizens of Washington, DC

As far as Washington winters go, this has to be one of the mildest in recent memory. Forecasters gave us the “we’re gonna get hit hard” spiel, and all we had to show for it — at least in DC proper — is a thin veneer of ice with a pebbly texture.

Sure, I could have taken advantage of today’s unscheduled leave policy, but it’s just not worth it for me with the relatively tame conditions outside. I just want one legit snow day. Is that too much to ask for? Winter isn’t winter without one.

Good thing for that 2-hour federal government delay this morning, my commute home last night was punctuated with slick patches of ice on the sidewalks and streets for the walking portions. (Office to boarding bus stop then alighting bus stop to home.) No doubt there were still some slick spots this morning, assuming I left at the time I’m supposed to.

I took advantage of the extra time to finish building the furniture I bought at IKEA on Monday night. Last night, I put together the two flaming red CD towers. This morning, I assembled the new bookshelf which was a feat unto itself.

In order to install the back panels to the CD towers per the instructions, I had to step into the hallway to slide them into the channels. This wasn’t difficult, just awkward. The bookcase though was a different problem. My doorway is too narrow to accommodate the width of the back panel. In order to install it, I had to leave off one of the sides of the bookcase, get the panel into the groove of the remaining side, then put the side back on, all the while lining up dowels, bolts and the panel to fit into their respective holes. Did I mention the panel was folded?

I managed to finally get it in and then I had to nail it in place, which not only presented its own set of problems, but also caused me to stretch muscles I forgot I had. But it’s done. Hallelujah!

Photos — and if I have time, a diagram — later.

Just before my office closed for a winter break*, they held their annual Christmas Holiday party. Once again, I wasn’t in attendance — I had a prior engagement.

Regardless of one’s attendance, however, everyone on staff gets a gift at the end of the calendar year. A few years ago, it was a pen. Then a watch the next year. A throw blanket and two extra large coffee mugs — which is, to date, my favorite office haul.

This year? A gym bag and a 32-oz. water bottle.

Is this a hint?

* (HA! The joke was on them — I was already on a winter break.)